At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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