she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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