he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
