all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
