what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize