OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
