We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I have feelings that need drinking.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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