dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
