that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
