hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
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