I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
