If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
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