You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
