What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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