I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
