im six kinds of drunk right now
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize