so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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