is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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