just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
