Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
