she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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