Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
