those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Randomize
