Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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