ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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