that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Randomize
