Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
