Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Randomize
