god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
