Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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