I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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