Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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