my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
