You're completely useless in the revolution.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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