She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize