I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Randomize
