I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
