I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
