no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
The power of my boobs compel you
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
