I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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