he shaved USA in his pubs
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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