So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
