Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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