You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Randomize
