I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
