So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
