Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
