Where is the hickey?
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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