i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
