i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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