i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Can vaginas get frostbite?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Randomize
