Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
