Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
