Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
