The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
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