Whoa Z and x make the same sound
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Randomize
