he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
