this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
