am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
