Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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