she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Your penis caused this!
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