I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
