My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
