It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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