meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
