so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Randomize
