508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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