People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize