She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
