Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
But theres a keg here and me gusta
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
