your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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