Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
