Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
